Mark 9:24 captures the struggle that is faith . . . I believe . . . at least I think I believe . . . I want to believe . . . how can I tell if I really believe . . . it is so hard to believe . . .
"I believe; help my unbelief."
In Mark 9 a father brought his demon possessed son to Jesus with the hope that Jesus could make his son well. Jesus' response to the father was, "all things are possible for the one who believes." To which the father responds, "I believe; help my unbelief." Jesus then heals his son.
The father's response resonates with me because it is honest. He doesn't try to fool anyone. His son's life is on the line; if I were him I would of put on a face of total belief--I would have left off those last 3 words. But the father defaults to the path of total transparency--I believe, but honestly there is a little doubt floating around in the back of my head about who you are Jesus, and about how you are going to act in this circumstance; help my unbelief.
At times it can feel like there is very little room for doubt in Christian circles. It can feel like everyone is running on a full tank of faith, and if that is the case you feel like keeping quiet about your quarter tank.
I wish we could all be more like the father in this story. I wish we could be more open about our belief AND our unbelief. I know it's true for me. I know I believe (after all I am a pastor) but the gas gage of faith is not always full. Faith is difficult to understand; it is difficult to exercise; it is difficult to discuss. So with that understanding, lets be honest about the struggle--and like we see in the story, Jesus will work in spite of our unbelief.
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